Five Ways to be Kind to Yourself

To say that this year has been a difficult one may be an understatement for many of us. We have been thrown into a whirlwind of change in so many ways. Through all of this, it is important to remember to stay kind to ourselves. From smaller daily stressors to large, sometimes overwhelming feelings, we need to remember to breathe, find gratitude, and practice self-care on a regular basis.

Health is not just physical. Your mental, emotional, and spiritual health is just as important in your overall wellbeing.

Oftentimes, we are so ingrained to put others before ourselves that we end up neglecting our own wants and needs. Being a caregiver comes naturally to many of us, and along with that, putting ourselves on the back burner. However, we also know that we are better able to help others when we take care of ourselves first. As the saying goes, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Here are five ways that you can be kind to yourself.

1. Take good care of yourself and your health. Eat healthy foods to fuel your body appropriately, and practice mindful eating. Try to get exercise regularly, even if that’s a 30-minute walk a few days a week. Prioritize sleep, and make sure you are rested enough. Create a bedtime routine and try to stick to it! Our physical health and our mental health are directly connected, and we need to be sure we’re giving each of them enough attention.
2. Make time for your hobbies. Make it a priority to carve out some time for yourself every day to do something you love, or schedule weekly time slots to fill with your hobbies. If you like to read, schedule time for yourself each day to sit down, with no interruptions, to read – even if that’s just a chapter a day. Or you can take it a step further and schedule a weekly visit to your local library. We know that this can be HARD – especially for parents, teachers, or other caretakers who are accustomed to putting themselves second (or third, or fourth), but putting in the effort for yourself is worth it. Also keep in mind that you don’t need to pressure yourself to excel at something in order make it a hobby. If you’re interested in something, try it! If you’re so inclined, you can also find an online class in an area you’re interested in, whether that’s knitting, cooking, painting, gardening, or anything else that catches your eye!
3. Schedule downtime. Make time for relaxation and do whatever it is that helps you relax and turn your brain off to outside distractions. Life is busy, and we all have obligations we need to meet, but being able to take some time for yourself is crucial in keeping your body and mind healthy. Try to take at least 10 minutes every day to focus on yourself. If that’s taking a walk, drawing a bath, sitting outside, meditating, journaling, shutting down social media/putting down your phone, snuggling with your pets, or sitting still and doing a breathing exercise, do something JUST for yourself in that timeframe.
4. Set realistic expectations. Don’t put too much on your plate. Know that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes, and you don’t need to make excuses. If you overfill your schedule, you’ll find it harder to prioritize yourself. Don’t try to do every chore in one day. Set realistic deadlines on your tasks and feel proud of yourself for getting them done.
5. Be selfish. We are told from a young age not to be selfish – that we need to put others before ourselves and always think of other people first. Those are extremely important lessons to learn, of course, and use in our everyday lives. However, it is also imperative to remember that sometimes – especially in a year like 2020, where we all have been learning to live in this “new normal” of a pandemic – that being kind to yourself, and yes, sometimes being selfish in self-care, is ALSO important. Try to do at least one thing every day just because it makes you happy.

Practicing self-care and being kind to yourself doesn’t need to be profound or deeply soul searching. It should not be MORE stressful to practice self-care. Being kind to oneself is a learning process for many of us, but it is one that we all can do. Sometimes all it takes is small, simple changes that bring about the desired effects.

Remember, it takes courage to be kind to yourself, and it’s okay to be anxious about starting to be more mindful. But also remember the “why” of making intentional choices to be more mindful, more present, and thinking more about what you DO want than what you don’t. Make compassionate choices to keep your own cup full, so that you are then able to be mindful, present, and caring for others.